just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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