so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
