There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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