After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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