your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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