Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
