i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
