I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
