i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
