Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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