Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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