Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
