Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
