Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
