I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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