Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
