Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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