Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
