there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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