u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
