So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
