Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize
