overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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