i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
