We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
