so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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