yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
