I hope mine doesn't look like that
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
