I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
