i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
