I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
