I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
