i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
