Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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