I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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