i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
