Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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