we have officially lost it.
sarcasm needs its own font
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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