I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
