Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize