'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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