xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
