we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
