Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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