Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
