I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize