loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I did not marry a roomba.
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