so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
