She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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