Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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