is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
