U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
