I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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