When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
