Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
