I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
