That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Vodka?
Forever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize